mentalalchemy:

dj-baby-bokchoy:

this is fucked up

this fucked me up

YO WHAT THE FUCK
I NEED A CIGARETTE
NO BUT REALLY WHAT DID I JUST GO THROUGH READING THIS

'Cause I wear them all the time.

pasiphile:

frankysplait:

glowcloud:

i love the Women Against Feminism that are like “I dont need feminism because i can admit i need my husband to open a jar for me and thats ok!” cause listen 1. get a towel 2. get the towel damp 3. put it on the lid and twist. BAM now men are completely useless. you, too, can open a jar. time to get a divorce

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SUE

sourest:

savanitabonita:

hopefor-thehopeless:

you’re probably going to dance with another girl who will taste like fresh picked strawberries and smell like flowers blossom in her hair
and you’re probably going to choke down 5 shots of straight vodka and get the thought of me out of your head and focus on the girl dancing with you who wants to be your apple pie but you can’t see the diamonds in her eyes because you’re staring at the ones hanging around her neck and you can’t feel her pull you in closer because she’s reaching farther behind your head of dark hair and tapping shoulders of random guys she’s never even met
and when this happens I hope you run to the dingy bathroom and splash your face with dirty water and vomit up the words you never said because while you’re out drowning your heart in things I shouldn’t care about I’m here looking at the moon whispering how much I fucking love you
and if you take her home I swear to God the moonlight will keep you awake no matter what time it is and you’ll watch it shine across your bedroom floor where we danced and laughed and I almost told you that you are my night sky
and I hope the light catches your attention more than the sight of her would and I hope when you wake up all your remember is that roses are my favourite scented flower and you can’t escape the light of the moon

I’m in the kind of mood where reading this made me cry.


This can’t be more perfect

sourest:

savanitabonita:

hopefor-thehopeless:

you’re probably going to dance with another girl who will taste like fresh picked strawberries and smell like flowers blossom in her hair

and you’re probably going to choke down 5 shots of straight vodka and get the thought of me out of your head and focus on the girl dancing with you who wants to be your apple pie but you can’t see the diamonds in her eyes because you’re staring at the ones hanging around her neck and you can’t feel her pull you in closer because she’s reaching farther behind your head of dark hair and tapping shoulders of random guys she’s never even met

and when this happens I hope you run to the dingy bathroom and splash your face with dirty water and vomit up the words you never said because while you’re out drowning your heart in things I shouldn’t care about I’m here looking at the moon whispering how much I fucking love you

and if you take her home I swear to God the moonlight will keep you awake no matter what time it is and you’ll watch it shine across your bedroom floor where we danced and laughed and I almost told you that you are my night sky

and I hope the light catches your attention more than the sight of her would and I hope when you wake up all your remember is that roses are my favourite scented flower and you can’t escape the light of the moon

I’m in the kind of mood where reading this made me cry.

This can’t be more perfect

"Drunk text me. Text me when the music is loud and there are girls dancing around you and you’re not quite coherent and you’re not quite yourself. Drunk text me that you love me or that you miss me or that I’m on your mind. Let the alcohol tell me all the things you won’t say sober."

s0ph1sticated:

officialwillowpape:

when u dress up for a date in the kim k game and he say u look uglyimage

pepperpentangle

makemecutehelbig:

Actual favourite thing ever

e-zekiel:

okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too

but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time

and then another person fell

and another

and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting

and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy

pineplapple:

This is hands down the best parody twitter ever

  • Grester Shippers: It's so canon!!11!!!!!!
  • Mace Shippers: HEY USA FTW
  • Swarto Shippers: AAAAWWWWWW YEAAAHHHHHHHH
  • Hartsquared Shippers: I'm used to it.
  • Flamrie Shippers: *cricket noises*
  • Hartbig Shippers: I came out to have a good time and honestly i'm feeling so attacked right now.

Sophie couldn’t help it.

feelsmoor:

DID THIS HAPPEN ARE YOU KIDDING ME

feelsmoor:

DID THIS HAPPEN ARE YOU KIDDING ME

So last night I got drunk and played Skyrim

karlosmadera:

I’m still torn on whether this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done or the stupidest. 

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smilefor-medarling:

Some of these are so awkward, and some are great, and there’s that one with the dad that’s just 100% heartbreaking.